The All Father
by 100-series
Summary: VP2 Spoilers Failing the title of All Father, a man losing his grasp on humanity must become a father to one alone.
1. Chapter 1

(1)

It wasn't until Rufus had explored the mines in the area of Villnore while searching for the Dragon Orb with Alicia and Silmeria that he had ever seen such a thing as rails. Man, lacking the power to materialize at will, resorted to honing the craft of technology. The rails were wrought to steer the carts carrying minerals and ore safely through the treacherous dark.

Perhaps the gods had begun the same way. They could be credited for blessing mankind with the basics of society, forming order from chaos. They had crafted unalterable fate--lives planned from birth to death--all in the interests of keeping mankind from falling into one of those perilous pitfalls. Valkyrie was the switchboard operator. Goddess of death. Mechanic of fate.

Rufus's first instinct was to ride on one of the strange metal carts and avoid all of those annoying monsters. Some couldn't even be hit by normal weaponry; and that meant he would be working overtime, his magic-laced arrows in high demand. He looked silly hunched in the cart like a child on a wagon ride, but who cared if it cut his work down?

Silmeria told him firmly to stop goofing off. Stop being lazy. Do your job and be grateful for the opportunity. Because in those winding dark places far off the beaten path, there were treasures that would make this trip worthwhile. What were they here for, if not the eradication of monsters? If they ran in, took the straight path, and ran back out, then what would be the point of it all?

After all was settled, he understood exactly what she was talking about. He knew what Silmeria had fought and died for--what young, sweet Alicia had died for.

The gods were not happy with him upon his return to Asgard. It wasn't a simple matter of usurping Odin's throne. Rufus demanded change. He would settle for no less than total removal of the gods' influence from Midgard. As a result, Asgard shook with tension and came to the brink of war. With Gungnir in hand, even a lowly einherjar such as himself could defeat a god. Unfortunately for himself and all of Midgard, direct one-on-one conflict was not the gods' style. Battle required strategy and sacrifice.

Rufus faced a difficult decision--disable the gods as much as possible and disappear, or watch Midgard and Asgard be engulfed in a turbulent war. He was sure that Freya and the rest would be broiling with anger when they discovered the valkyries' spirits--all three--sent to Midgard to sleep. Even more would Freya rant and rave when she realized that he had sealed the ability to summon them back. No valkyries meant no new souls. That meant the gods had little to squabble over, and that einherjar were now in high demand. If it really looked like the world was going to end perhaps he would let one of them awaken after a natural life's end, but he had no plans to do so any time soon.

He wasn't sure if that would fix things, but it certainly diffused them for a few decades. Nothing to the gods, perhaps, but all the time in the world for him--a mortal man who was not quite new to the idea of immortality, but certainly hadn't grown used to it yet. In the meantime, he could examine the situation and learn to use his new powers. He could truly attempt once more to take Odin's place.

He felt as if his cart was no longer attached to a set of rails, a liberating sensation; but along with that feeling came incredible loneliness and fear. He was careening over the edge of an abyss without so much as a light. There was no shining light to guide his way or to warm or comfort him. How he had grown so used to that, to being near Alicia.

(2)

As he returned to his career as an aimless wanderer, always moving to avoid detection from the gods, he began to wonder just how much of fate's tracks could be altered now that they had been set in place. Lezard surely shook things up enough to drastically change everything, and yet... Rufus got the sensation of crashing at the same crossroads over and over again.

A little girl in Coriander was the first. He had nearly tripped over her in the literal sense. Even as miraculous as it was, it meant very little and he was surprised to find himself strangely detached from the entire event. She was dead. To see that her soul still existed was only a small comfort. It let him know that she was happy--that what should have been in her previous life now was. Alicia's life would be free of trouble. No valkyries, no crazy mages, and no half-elf companions. Of course she would likely fret about day-to-day things and experience sorrows that every person who lives experiences. If she didn't, then her life would hardly be worth living. But without memory of what she had overcome and who she had become or what she had lost in the process, it wasn't really a second chance. It was more like a rewrite--just like those poor chumps from Lenneth Valkyrie's other future who may never exist now.

The philosophy behind threatened to drive him mad. If Lenneth's world never existed, then Lezard would not have existed, and thus wouldn't have come to his time to screw everything up. Therefore, it stood to reason that her world did exist out there somewhere in a reality that branched from his own like the countless arms of the world ash Yggdrassil. Then, did that mean that there was some reality where he and Alicia died in each other's arms? That might have been better than saying goodbye. Did that mean that souls retained part of each life they lived? He bordered on schizophrenia arguing with himself. His paths crossed with hers for a reason. No, it was those damned rails again. But what if some paths are there for a reason? No, you can't follow a fated path and drag Alicia back into this. Never.

Goodbye. He kissed his ring to wish her luck and turned to leave while he could still smile about it. He did not see the girl linger, staring into the place from whence he came and promptly disappeared into. He did not see the small girl sigh in a very grown-up sort of way that betrayed her youthful innocence before turning to chase the other children again.

(3)

It seemed that he ran into Arngrim at every bar. Rufus could never look at Arngrim without remembering the guillotine which removed King Barbarossa's head; but at the same time, he could not think of King Barbarossa without hearing the sound of his hand smacking against Alicia's innocent face. Alicia forgave him. Them both. That was what mattered.

He crossed einherjar everywhere. They stopped and spoke with him each and every time. Too many of them. Some of them were ill-informed, and he hated speaking of the past--especially when it came to explaining Alicia's fate, and Silmeria's demise. Their responses ranged from tearful sympathy to shame and disgust. Some argued with him, attacked his poor explanation. He hated each of these interactions regardless of whether they were supportive or aggressive.

He thought: I just want to forget. Forget it all.

He wanted to be with Alicia in blissful ignorance if not in presence, but the fate this world seemed eternally bound to would not allow him that refute.

(4)

Rufus remembered all at once that fate is cruel to others besides himself.

It was a routine trip through the desert outside of Kallstad. The monsters there were armored, resembling desert creatures like scorpions and giant burrowing insects. Their tough shells could be tricky for novices to penetrate, but Rufus was not just a freed einherjar with enough skill gained through treacherous experiences to obliterate a world archery championship--he was brimming with the power of Gungnir. Being so practically invincible now, he often forgot that simple folk had to work very hard to secure their safety.

It was a peculiar scene he came upon in the desert. Fresh corpses ripped limb from limb and half eaten laid around a toppled wagon. Their blood was still wet, freshly spilled. He proved a bit too used to battle when he easily identified the human pieces as belonging to two people, a man and woman. You died together, he thought. At least there is that for you. Enjoy Fólkvangr until the gods grant your souls passage; you deserve it. Their horses were also dead and in the process of being stripped of meat.

Several of the red-bodied insectoid creatures were appeased by the meal, and Rufus was torn on the decision of whether or not to chase them away. It scared him that he was beginning to think of this as natural. Though fairly in keeping with his code of avoiding intervention, it was a bit too close to the gods' way of thinking. But honestly, if the soul was absent, then what is the body? Perhaps he thought that way more easily since his own physical form had been absorbed by Lezard while holding the late All-father, not shredded to carnal bits. All the same, he doubted he would care what became of his remains.

Then he noticed that not all the monsters were done. One of the hulking, clawed, crimson things was very interested in a chest that had been carried by the wagon. Also, the chest itself made noise when it was shaken. It was screaming. It cried with the voice of a small girl.

Needing no further motivation, he made swift work of each remaining creature. And so the killing was pointless, the entire event meaningless. Neither man nor nature prevailed. All that it changed was that a girl now lacked parents. They were taken without anything being offered in return. Perhaps it would be more merciful to allow the girl to follow them. At least there would be no goodbyes. He scared himself thinking like that, and was grateful that his conscience often moved his hands without asking his questioning mind for permission. If he had just come a bit sooner, he could have saved all of them. That made it his fault.

It was a damned good chest, having withstood countless blows by heavy pincers and jagged teeth. Rufus quickly found the key and popped it open. Inside was a girl with messy golden blonde hair and a bloodied blue sun dress that attempted to match the color of her teary blue eyes. She was huddled up into a ball, terrified and shaking.

It was a wreck. Instantly he knew that this girl was Silmeria.

Unlike with Alicia, he could not say goodbye, turn, and leave. He could not forget that he had seen her and that she was a new person. This valkyrie had a destiny and she had a life. He felt that one had somehow been sacrificed for the other in accordance with fate's design. He was meant to find her here and take her with him.

It begrudged him to admit that he had no other choice, but he could not leave a child--reincarnated ally or not--stranded in the desert. He held her in his arms and she curled up against his chest crying. He thought that children should be more averse to touching strangers, but she must have been relieved that he wasn't a monster. At least he didn't _think_ that he was a monster. Not yet, anyway.

(5)

First he took her away from the site of the incident hoping that perhaps putting the viscera of her parents' corpses behind them would help him to calm her. The child cried, but her tears were not of grief. They were sounds of terror and confusion. She failed to form words at all, just a stream of constant agonized noises.

"You are okay now," he said. "Everything will be all right." His words did little to calm her, though she allowed him to carry her without a struggle. After hours of this, when her sounds finally died, he realized that the girl was asleep. Silmeria's soul slept soundly, the cheek of her human host nuzzled against his shirt.

This was the first child that Rufus had ever held. He saw them occasionally in town, playing or doing small chores just as Alicia had been when their paths crossed. He never spoke to children unless he had to, or gave them much attention at all. He would never have a child or a family, and so their existence had always been inconsequential to him.

He carried her to the edge of the desert and made camp there. He hoped to reach Crell Monterfrainge the next day. It had been a while since the idea of getting somewhere with haste had even crossed his mind. He had no place to be, no home to reach. The only quick traveling he did these days was to avoid people he recognized, either in the form of old friends of the occasional reincarnated girl in Coriander. And when that occurred, he simply transported away by magical means.

The girl was so exhausted that she did not even wake at the smell of fresh meat roasting over the fire. He preserved it for her to eat later and studied her face as she slept. She was so similar to Alicia's child form that he could have mistaken them for each other if not for the sense of Silmeria's soul. Her hair was a few shades different in hue, a bright golden blonde rather than ash. Little yellow shoes with pink flowers painted on them adorned her feet. Rufus had never seen such tiny things. He had no idea where one would even hope to have them made.

She drifted in and out of sleep, but it wasn't until well until the next day that she was aware again. When she awoke, she was no longer crying. He left her lying wrapped in his cloak, for comfort more than warmth. It was pleasant on the outskirts of the desert at night. Once the sun rose it began to get hot, but she remained bundled up in it nevertheless.

When she finally opened her eyes, she sat up with the cloak wrapped around herself and looked in all directions, bewildered. Rufus had been sitting nearby quietly all the while. Once unable to stay still and silent, he now sat for hours motionless without making a sound, trying to simply pass through time with as little thought as possible. She held the cloak around her shoulders and stood. "Who are you?" she said meekly, keeping a cautious distance from Rufus.

"My name is Rufus," he explained. "What's yours?"

Nothing but a blank stare.

"Who were your parents?" He continued. The girl would not answer. "What did they do? Do you know where they were going?"

Nothing but a frustrated pout.

"Do you have any relatives? Anyone who could take you in?"

A frown of disapproval. He deemed that the best response so far. Very Silmeria.

"Are you my daddy?" she asked bluntly.

Rufus sputtered at that. "W-what are you talking about?"

The girl frowned and sat back down. "I don't know what my name is," she said, turning her nose up.

Until now he had assumed her lack of grief was simply due to the fact that small children did not understand the finality of death, but that statement made him suspect that something else was wrong with her. "Don't you remember anything?" he asked.

Her eyes became a great deal more sorrowful as she attempted. Her speech was a bit hurried and choppy, but she was otherwise well-spoken for such a young girl. "All I remember is being carried by somebody--I think it was you. Before that, it's scary... and dark..."

No kidding, he thought. She had been locked in a box and tossed about by a pack of oversized sand scorpions. He watched her begin to shake as she concentrated and tried to think. Suddenly she grasped her tiny head and wailed in agony. "What's wrong?" he shouted in alarm and hurried to her side on his knees.

She grasped him about the waist with small, shaking arms and squeezed him. "I don't wanna remember," she said. "It's scary... there's a scary thing..."

"It's okay, you don't have to," he said softly, patting her hair. It was grimy from travel. "You're with me now. I'll keep you safe." He uncovered the food he saved for her. He had only eaten a bit of it himself. "Are you hungry? I hope you like it."

She took a bit of the meat into her hands. It was dry but soft. She began to nibble on it gratefully without saying anything.

He stood and allowed her to finish it while he strapped his things onto his back and got ready to travel onwards. "I don't even know what kids eat," he mumbled to himself.

(6)

She offered to walk by his side; in fact, she wouldn't be held at first. Though she stubbornly refused a piggy-back ride, she insisted on holding Rufus's hand as they crossed the prairie leading into more vegetated lands. After the first hour she began to complain very loudly that she didn't want to walk anymore, and Rufus finally scooped her up. He placed her on his shoulders and she amused herself with he beads in his hair for quite some time.

They traveled all day. Rufus was accustomed to silence, had learned to create silence even in his own mind. Unless he was practicing to control Gungnir or debating himself on what stance he should take regarding the future of Midgard, he sleep-walked through life without so much as allowing himself to dream. But she made that impossible. She was bored and asked him countless questions.

"Why is your hair green?"

"I was born that way." Because he was half-elf and hated it, and he couldn't tell her that.

"Why do you have shiny things in your hair?"

"Because I felt like it." There had been a time when he commemorated his accomplishments by marking them with trinkets. He couldn't even remember what those had been anymore. Couldn't tell her that.

"But aren't you a boy?"

"Last time I checked," Rufus sighed. She was right. He was more boy than man.

"Where are we going?"

"Crell Monterfrainge."

"What's that?"

"A city."

"What kind of city?"

"One full of chapels." And stupid people who visited those chapels and allowed themselves to be enslaved by the gods without receiving anything in return.

"What's a chapel?"

"A place you go to worship a god." Something he could technically be considered.

"What gods do you worship?"

"None," he said, and then reconsidered. "Well... maybe one."

"Which one?"

"Valkyrie."

"Who is she?"

Rufus was getting tired of this. If he wasn't talking then she was, and all she did was ask questions. He wished she would talk about herself; but then he considered that a child with no memories can't exactly tell many stories. He decided to tell one to her, to keep her from asking questions. "Do you like stories?"

"Uh-huh," she answered. "Do you know stories?"

"Once upon a time," he began without leaving an opening for more questions, "There was a princess. She was the beloved daughter of the king of Dipan. She was kind and beautiful and everyone loved her."

"What did she look like?"

Rufus cringed, remembering Alicia's sweet face. "Uh... very beautiful. Long blonde hair, and blue eyes."

"What color dress did she wear?"

Rufus didn't understand why that mattered. "A blue dress, like yours," he said, since Alicia hadn't worn a dress anyway. "But the poor princess, she was cursed. So her father sent her to live in a tower far away."

He went on with the story, substituting Silmeria with a hint-dropping fairy just to make it more kid-friendly. Hrist was the villain since she seemed a suitable a scary evil witch type. "And one night they escaped, running away from the castle."

"There's no prince?" she asked him.

"Afraid not."

"Well, how does it go after that?"

"She runs away and she's free, so that's the end," he explained, puzzled as to why this wasn't satisfactory.

"And then what happened?"

Rufus thought that his choice of stories was not very good in retrospect. There is no prince. The princess dies. The bad guy doesn't succeed, but nobody really wins. "Hm," he muttered, trying to buy time as he thought. "What do you think happened next?"

"The princess meets a prince," she said. "Duh."

"Duh?" Rufus laughed. Of course, saying _obviously_! in that oh-so-Silmeria tone would be too wordy for a kid her age, but that is what it sounded like. She began to slap the top of his head lightly as if it was a drum. "So where did the prince come from?"

"Um. He, well..." She fiddled with the beaded locks of his hair while she thought. "He ran away too!" she declared. She began to explain so excitedly that her grammar suffered a deal. "The princess run away from the tower and the prince run away from his castle too--and--and--so they decided to run away together! And then... then they go and kill monsters and stuff 'cause the fairy helped them find the treasures."

She leaned over until Rufus feared she would tumble forward over his head. She looked down into his face, seeking approval. "Is that what happened?" she asked.

"Yeah," Rufus replied. "That's exactly what happened."

It was a long road to Crell Monterfrainge, but Rufus was shocked to find that it felt much shorter. Only six or seven years had passed, after all. It felt like centuries. Perhaps it was because he had always been sleep-walking, merely observing, happy to watch as everything grew around him so slowly. With the girl on his shoulders chattering away he suddenly felt as if time was flying by.

Short days spent with his allies, with Alicia. They used to pass this way. He remembered someone saying that fleeting pleasures are more wonderful for their transient nature, like the snow of blossoming trees in the spring, or a child's youth, or love that made itself known between two people for only a day. From Bifrost to the end of their journey. A day.


	2. Chapter 2

(1)

Whoever Silmeria had been for the first six years of her life was now completely gone. Gone like Alicia. Rufus did the only thing that he could do, and took the girl to a doctor. The physician in the city of Crell Monterfrainge explained that it was quite a normal response to traumatic experiences to block out certain memories. Silmeria's case was a bit extreme, even with that fact given. This child could not remember the event, nor could she remember anything previous to it.

She was light on his shoulders. Passing through town, she felt like nothing more than an extra pack to carry. Funny, since it was Silmeria who would have normally made him carry Alicia's extra things. Alicia never would have pressed him to do such a thing even if he'd have gladly done it. The girl wasn't Silmeria, but that did not stop her from digging up memories he thought long lost. Unfair that she should lose her own memory while forcing him to regain his own.

Thus far their relationship was one of a babysitter and a child with absent parents, only Rufus knew that her parents were never coming back. Rufus was unsure of what to do next. She could not tell him if she had any family, and he was uncomfortable with leaving her at an orphanage or even in the hands of a childless couple. He even contemplated taking her to Asgard to consult the gods and goddesses, or perhaps taking her to some of her old einherjar for advice; but none of those things seemed fair to the new person who Silmeria was now.

While she sat there riding on his back, she suddenly began to wail. "Let me down!" she shouted, kicking and failing her arms. "I wanna walk!"

Rufus knew nothing of children, he hardly remembered being one. Perhaps he had blocked memories of his own childhood for reasons similar to her amnesia. There was a vague but horrible feeling surrounding the entire start of his life. "What's your problem?" he asked her, placing her down on the ground.

"My shoes!" she cried. As she said this, she began to peel off her socks and shoes in the middle of the road.

"You have to wear shoes," he retorted, struggling to believe that he was actually having this conversation with a would-be valkyrie.

"They're yellow, I don't like yellow!" she whined, trying to peel them off. "I don't like blue! I don't want this dress!"

"Now you _definitely_ have to keep your dress on," he groaned as he struggled against the small child. He may not remember much from his childhood and how they might have gotten him to do things, but he knew that he could never bring himself to hurt a child. He could never restrain her against her will or strike her. The commotion starting to grow around him as strangers stopped to witness the unsuccessful struggle made him fish for some solution quickly, and he could find none.

"I want green!" she demanded and pouted furiously.

Rufus rubbed his head feeling a migraine for the first time in many years. Had she always been this difficult, or was he just failing as a substitute parent? He looked at her face and saw intimidation there. Somehow within that pouty face so close to tears, he could almost see Silmeria smirking and saying something about his caliber. "You will get new ones when those wear out," he said.

"I want it _now_!"

"Why do you want green?" he asked her. Her scream's lack of affect seemed to confuse her greatly.

There was no logical explanation forthcoming. "I _want_ it!"

"If you want to walk barefoot, that's fine by me, but I'm not getting you new shoes," he said firmly. He had all the money needed for new shoes, but did not feel like lingering in Crell Monterfraine for as long as it would take to cobble new green shoes for a six-year-old. That was not the point in any case. Silmeria didn't care about shoes, she was just trying to see how she could push him, and unlike that fateful night in Dipan when he was coerced into joining her party, she did not have the upper hand. "Besides, yellow is the prettiest on you," he said. "You look pretty today."

What came next was not what he expected. He thought that either she would concede the matter and come along, or that she would keep tearing her clothes off and he would be forced to drag her out of town. Instead, she started to wail. It was a steady, piercing cry full of tears. Not a tantrum, just an expression of whatever emotion she had built up and new felt pressed to release.

He lifted her up once more, happy that at least she was leaving her clothing alone. He held her cradled against his chest and rubbed her hair. Her sobs softened but would not stop all together. "Can you remember your name?" he asked her once again.

"No," she responded between sobs. "No!"

"Then I guess I will call you Silmeria," he replied. "Is that okay with you?"

"I like Shumuria," she mumbled, butchering the name completely through broken sobs and sniffles. She managed to hold it in long enough for her to ask him something in return. "What's your name?"

"I told you already, silly," he chuckled. "I'm Rufus. I hope your memory gets a little better."

"Fufus," she said, messing up his name as well. He would have expected it was intentional if not for her serious expression. "Shumuria." She seemed to have remembered about testing him and began to wiggle in his arms. "I want down," she said.

"Okay, but keep your clothes on." He carefully put her on the ground, letting her tiny feet in their yellow shoes touch firmly against the cobblestone road before letting her free. He waited to see what she would do, if she would attempt to strip again. Instead she took his hand, tiny fingers wrapping around just two of his large ones.

"I wanna go," she said.

"Go where?"

"Back out," she explained. "I don't like this hard place."

"Hard?" he wondered aloud, just as she began to demonstrate by tapping her foot against the pavement. "Oh," he sighed. "So you like the feel of dirt beneath your feet, do you? You're weird."

"I'm not weird!" Silmeria spouted. "You're weird, you look like a tree."

Rufus sputtered a laugh at that. "Hey, that's not very nice."

She began to explain her reasoning--that he was all green on top and therefore looked resembled a tree--and they were able to leave the city without further eventfulness.

(2)

Silmeria took to travel fairly well. She was comfortable riding on Rufus's shoulders when she did not want to walk, and liked to walk more than most children would. So Rufus thought, anyway. He had no comparison.

It wasn't that he was particularly inclined to be rid of her, but he feared that she would grow too attached to him over time, and be wounded again when he finally found a suitable place for her. He was sure that to lose someone she cared for a second time would be damaging even if she was unable to remember the first trauma. There was also a creeping sensation in his heart as she wormed her way in with little smiles and silly sayings, and he feared he might grow attached to something again. Something that he would inevitably lose again.

It was already happening, the beginning of it. The awkwardness was gone and he laughed and made jokes with the little girl. He was adjusting himself to her level and figuring out how she viewed things. Subjects others might find boring and trite were fascinating to her. Rufus had never considered the value of colors, but the subject of whether he liked green or purple better was a hot subject of debate for her. She had to know the name of every bird and insect, and when Rufus didn't know--he had seen them all before, but had never cared much for their specific names--he made up names, some of which were silly and made her giggle in fits even if they weren't really very funny.

They took a break--which Rufus used to do very often and had long forgotten the joy of--in the forests outside of Crell Monterfraine. There, he began a line of serious questioning. "Silmeria, where would you like to live?"

"Huh?" She didn't seem to understand the question and looked up with big round eyes seeking an explanation.

"Where would you like to live?" he repeated himself. "In a house with a family?"

"Oh, uh-huh!" she agreed and kicked her legs over the side of the log they sat on. Her legs were too small for her feet to touch the ground. "In a fairy castle."

"I don't think I can do fairy castle," Rufus laughed. "Do you like the dry sandy place?" He hoped that she might have lived in Kalstad near where he found her and wanted to go back there. Maybe someone would recognize her there.

Silmeria remembered the desert and knew that they were headed in that direction again. She shook her head fervently. "Nuh-uh, I like green."

"You mean green plants and trees?" he questioned, and then looked up in thought. "Not like the city or the desert."

"Can we live in a tree?" she asked innocently enough.

Rufus winced and tried to hide it, thinking not fondly of tree houses and forest domiciles in general. Thankfully Silmeria was not as perceptive as her valkyrie counterpart and failed to notice his discomfort on occasions like these. Then, pondering leafy places, it hit him like a bolt of lightning exactly where he should take her. Where he was _meant_ to take her. If he could not outrun fate, then the least he could do is have it work the way he felt it ought to.

"I know where I'll take you," he said with a grin. "It's a place with lots of trees and flowers. There's animals and plenty of kids your age to play with. I know you'll like it there."

"Okay!" she agreed. "Can I have a kitty?"

"Um," Rufus grimaced, suddenly uncertain. If he found care-takers for her, there was no telling what sort of rules they would have. "Well... I don't know. We'll see when we get there."

Despite having limited information, Silmeria was content with the idea, and journeyed across the desert with him. There were a few more fits and trantrums, though none as irrational as the event in the city. Rufus deducted that without other people around, she had no one to demonstrate to.

(3)

Days of travel passed; the journey shortened without Silmeria knowing. If she fell soundly asleep, he would use his power of teleportation to cut their trip short. She never awakened in these instances, sleeping straight through the phase in space. He hoped that she would never realize that he was different, that he was anything but human. He even hoped that within a few years she would forget him entirely and never wonder about gods and elves. It all hinged on finding a family for her. Coriander was a small town, but at the very least he could take her to the little chapel there.

A trip that should have taken a month or longer took days, and on a sunny morning while walking hand-in-hand with the small girl, he entered Coriander. If fate was fate and his destiny was sealed, then it seemed only logical that he should take her directly to Alicia. She was the one who was meant to be with Alicia in the end, and that fate he was happy to help in the mechanics of even if the dull pain of that reality was still there.

It was a little wooden house, the steps of which were covered in moss and shaded by low-hanging branches. Rufus covered his head with his hood as he approached, and Silmeria paid no mind. She was much more entranced with the many strange sights. Rufus nearly had to drag her away from some chickens which were by far the most amazing thing that Silmeria had ever seen.

He knocked on the door, keeping his other hand on Silmeria's. Her tiny fingers were loose around his. She was not nervous or afraid.

Soon a large man came to the door. He was as tall as Rufus and much thicker, with broad shoulders and a muscular build. His hair was brown and scruffy, still full on top and thick on the sides of his face all the way to his chin where he wore a short beard. Rufus remembered suddenly that he wasn't very good at talking to people and cleared his throat. "Um... hello," he began.

"You're not from around here, are ya?" the man said before Rufus opened his mouth to explain. In his voice there was a heavy tone of suspicion, but there was no sense of xenophobia as Rufus experienced in other places. The simple people of Coriander were very kind on the whole for as much as he had known them.

"No, I'm not. I was traveling when I came across this child," he began to explain. At that very moment, Silmeria spotted something inside of the house and shot out of Rufus's grasp. "H-hey, Silmeria!" he sputtered.

He looked past the large burly man into the home and saw a thing that made his heart stop. There was Alicia as a small girl, just as she had seen her before. Very little time had passed in his eyes; she was perhaps half a year older. She sat on the floor playing with a little doll crafted from straw and cloth scraps. She looked up as Silmeria ran into the room, and shrank away. Her bright blue eyes shook with uncertainty. Silmeria sensed none of it, and walked up right beside her. "Hi!" she greeted the small girl loudly. "My name is Shumuria, who are you?"

"A... Alisha," the girl replied with a remarkably similar childlike slur. Silmeria proceeded to ask the girl about her doll and how old she was and if she liked green or purple better.

The man shook his head and returned his attention to Rufus with a smile. "Don't worry about it," he said kindly. "Alicia's just a little shy."

Rufus remained frozen in the door without hearing the man at all, simply staring at Alicia. Before earning himself any suspicion, he recovered and cleared his throat once more. "Sorry," he said. "This girl... I just found her. Her parents had been killed by monsters." He looked at the man's face, raising his own just enough to meet him eye to eye in sincerity. "I have no means of taking care of her and she has no family that I can discern. I brought her here hoping that someone in this town might want a child, or be able to take care of her somehow..."

The man, Alicia's father perhaps, sighed and grimaced at Rufus. "Is that your story?" he asked. There was accusation in his voice, but the man was still free of aggression. Though not too flattered at being called a liar, Rufus was at least relieved that Alicia's father had such a calm nature. She had always wanted and deserved a loving father. The man smirked knowingly as if he was amused more than anything else. "Are you sure you didn't return to some village you'd passed through before only to find and old lover with a child you didn't know you had? Then she stuck you with the kid and now you have no idea what to do, isn't that right?" He folded his arms, waiting for Rufus's answer.

"I wish that were true," he sighed. At least it would mean that he had been loved at some point in his life. "But the girl isn't mine." He slowly raised his hands to either side of his face and pushed back the hood of his cloak to reveal his appearance. The man's eyes grew larger at the sight of his bright green hair and knew what Rufus was trying to say.

"Wow. You really aren't from around here," he said with a coarse chuckle. "All right. Come in, please. Don't stand in the door."

Rufus felt he would rather not enter, but stepped inside on the hope that he was a step closer to finding Silmeria a family. His eyes kept drifting and snapping away from the small presence of Alicia, a painful pang ripping through him each time.

The man sat in a chair in the room where Silmeria and Alicia sat on the foor , and gestured to another beside him. "Have a seat. My name is Ranald and I run a dairy here. Who might you be, traveler?"

"Rufus," he replied, taking the simple wooden chair. It had been softened with a hand-sewn cushion.

"You don't say,"the man laughed. "My girl Alicia has named a stray cat Rufus and now he catches mice for us."

Coincidence Rufus reminded himself, although being Alicia's cat would have been a preferable life. "I'm sort of a stray myself I guess."

"You seem well-dressed for a simple tramp," the man laughed. "Surely you have some trade."

"Monster-killing," Rufus admitted. "Treasure-finding. That sort of thing."

"Oh... I see how that could be an issue," Ranald sighed. "You can't exactly take a girl on that sort of errand or she'd turn into monster bait."

Rufus had not even considered that, but it was a right assumption. He wouldn't be able to make any OTH with Silmeria around, and he would need it to pass off as normal. "Yeah, I... well it would be different if I had someone to take care of her."

The man laughed uproariously. "Sounds simple to me! All you have to do is get yourself a wife."

"Eh," Rufus squirmed on the edge of his chair. "That isn't... an option..."

"Why, would it cramp your style to stick to one woman?"

"Not at all, I just--" Finally the discomfort he was in built up to the point where he had to show it on the surface. "I just can't, okay! Look--the girl isn't my daughter and I'm willing to care for her anyway, doesn't that prove something?"

Silence in the den. Rufus cursed under his breath as both girls stared at him with eyes of almost identical color. Alicia's were round and soft, struck with a touch of silent fear at the raised voice; while Silmeria's remained catlike and more annoyed at her caretaker's outburst than anything else. He knew that look. It was Silmeria's good old _you just screwed up big time_ look of disapproval.

Rufus took a deep breath and sunk back into his chair. "Sorry, I just..." He chanced a look at Ranald and found the man watching him curiously. "If I can find someone to take care of her I can give them enough money for it, but I only pass through every few months. It's not just that my work is dangerous, but I just... I don't know anything about children or how to raise them, especially girls."

He laughed. "Nobody's born knowing how to raise a girl. Alicia has two brothers, so I've had a deal of practice with children and she still leaves me mind-boggled." Then his tone turned serious. "That girl means more to you than a stranger, that much I can see. I don't want to say you're lying, but even if she's not your child in flesh and blood, she means something to you."

"You're right," Rufus answered and hung his head. "You're right, she's not just a stranger. She is my responsibility. I just don't know what to do."

"Listen," he said seriously. "I know what it's like to be a young man with no place to call home, and suddenly you're charged with a kid somehow. But that girl needs a father and like it or not, that's the position you're in."

Rufus grumbled something about fate being ridiculous under his breath and accidently glanced at Alicia again. Silmeria looked up with a grin and ran over to him. "Me and Alicia are the same age!" she said. "When's my birthday?"

"I... I'm not sure," Rufus stuttered, taken off-guard by the question. Thankfully Alicia remained like a lingering presence in the background, too shy to approach the stranger. He wasn't even sure that Silmeria was six, the doctor had guessed that.

Ranald picked up the slack like a pro. "Well then, why don't you share Alicia's birthday?" he laughed. "August the 18th. You two can be like twin sisters, won't it be fun?"

Rufus glared at Ranald for more than one reason. He was coercing him into staying there as well as injuring him unintentionally by suggesting the relationship between the girls. Closer than normal sisters, yes they were. Closer than friends and closer than lovers. Twins.

"Alicia goes to school," Silmeria went on, grasping at Rufus's knees as he remained seated. "She has a kitty too."

"You can... you can um..." Rufus coughed.

He looked to Ranald hoping for some more wisdom, but as much as the strange guy was happy to dole out the suggestions when Rufus didn't want to hear it, once he was actually asking for it the guy was completely silent.

Rufus made himself look down and found Silmeria looking up at him with pleading eyes. She had heard part of the conversation and was finally growing worried. "Please?" she asked, clutching his leg. "Fufus? I want to go to school and have a kitty."

"Fine," Rufus gave in. "I can at least stay at the inn for a while..."

"Good!" Ranald said in approval. "Now why don't you have dinner here first? My wife is making a damned good stew tonight." The large, broad-shouldered man stood up from his chair and scooped tiny Alicia off the ground. "You should say hello to our guest, Alicia," he said in a goofy, kiddie voice.

"Hello," the girl squeaked, hiding her face in her father's shoulder.

Ranald laughed and set the girl back down. "Take Silmeria outside and play while I introduce him to your mother."

Alicia nodded and took Silmeria's hand before retreating through the house, scampering lightly across the wooden floorboards, and out the back door which let into a green pasture. Rufus watched, hoping that they were finally happy, and wondering what he could possibly do to preserve that happiness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** In the previous chapter I noted that Alicia had four older brothers. For story purposes, I've changed it to say that she has two brothers, one older and one younger. Sorry for the confusion!

(1)

Ranald's wife was a beautiful woman. She resembled Alicia--the Alicia that Rufus remembered more so than the little one, which was unsettling. It was almost as if Alicia had been allowed to keep growing, and had become this lovely middle-aged woman. But no--her eyes were dark chocolate brown, and not the shade of blue he used to know and would remember forever. Her hair was not that same shade that took on the radiance of the light around her. At second glance, he realized it had been almost entirely wishful thinking.

Illogical as it was that the new Alicia looked like the old Alicia and yet the mother who had been born before Alicia's death seemed to look like her; it felt right that the mother should look like the daughter, reincarnation aside. He let it pass without dwelling too long. Trying to understand it was too much for his sanity.

The little woman, who appeared even smaller next to her husband, was introduced as Shayla. "This is our visitor, Sir Rufus," Ranard continued, presenting his wife to the visitor. His chest puffed out in pride. "My wife, Shayla."

"Greetings, Sir Rufus," she said with a smile.

"Just Rufus is fine," he answered bashfully as the lady looked him up and down, curiosity gleaming in her eyes. He hadn't spoken to a real woman in a lifetime; Freya are her kin did not count.

Thankfully she was distracted by something else and the awkward stare ended. "Oh, dear!" she fretted and began to pick up negligible items lying around the living room in a fuss. "You should have told me if you invited a friend for dinner, the house is a mess!"

"Please, don't clean up on my account," Rufus laughed. "This place is like paradise to me."

"Hey, no sweet-talking my woman," Ranald laughed and gave Rufus a slap on the back that was a bit too hard for his tastes. "Rufus is visiting town for a while, and his girl wanted to play with Alicia, so I invited him in."

"Oh, how nice," Shayla answered. "Alicia doesn't have any friends her own age. Will you stay for dinner?"

Rufus shifted in his chair as they continued to converse with him. They did most of the talking, which only veiled the fact that he was uncomfortable with the entire situation. He never cared for conversation until Alicia found him in the charter house that fateful day, and then it seemed like he couldn't make himself stop talking. Loud-Mouth Rufus lived a very short life.

He could only answer their questions with vague explanations and outright lies. His age, home town, and certain parts of his history had to be fabricated. To deceive such trusting individuals left him feeling racked with guilt. It was strange to him to trust anyone, to invite them into his home--not that Rufus ever called any place home so much that he would know.

(2)

It was sun-shiny outside, but still kind of dark-ish because of all the leaves. Silmeria liked it because it felt like a secret place. She and Alicia had decided just earlier to be best friends. Well, Rufus might be Silmeria's very very best friend, but he was sort of a grown-up anyway so that didn't count.

Alicia led Silmeria out into her back yard which was big and wide. At first there were lots of trees that blocked the sun and made the grass all speckly with lights. Silmeria hopped around letting the pattern shine onto her shoes--which were still yellow, no thanks to Rufus--and was amazed at how the pattern didn't change despite the change in surface. It was like something was there, solid all the way through the air, but you couldn't touch it. She waved her hands in it marveling at the magic of that.

Alicia walked past and tilted her head curiously. She was not so fascinated by the sparkles. "Do you want to see the animals?" she asked in a small voice. Silmeria strained to hear her.

"Okay!" Silmeria said loudly, and went after her.

The leafy place opened up to a bright flat place that was green, green, and more green. Not green like Rufus, but green like grass which was almost as good. The wind blew though it, destroying dandelions and sending their seeds into the air in clouds.

The only thing that Silmeria was concerned about on this plane of green was the enormous creature standing lazily out in the center of it. She ducked onto her knees in fear and began to creep up to it slowly. It was enormous, many times the size of the little girl. When she summoned the courage to look again, she found it was a fat blobby thing with four skinny legs and the silliest black and white pattern on it, like big splotches. Her fear was replaced with amusement. It's nose was big and had huge nostrils. The eyes were kind-looking and not menacing at all.

"That's Betsy," Alicia explained to her friend, looking curiously at her again, no doubt trying to figure out why the girl was hiding in the grass. "She's a milk cow."

"Cow?" Silmeria repeated, never tearing her eyes away from the strange creature.

Alicia nodded. "Do you know what a cow is?"

"Nope," Silmeria answered, standing up.

"Um... well," Alicia began to explain warily, "You get milk from them. They have utters."

"Oh!" Very interesting, all of this milk business. "What sound do they make?"

"Moo," Alicia replied in a very business-like manner. "That's all they say is moo. Some of them make beef and steaks too, but we don't give those ones names 'cause Mama says you don't name food."

"Rufus catches me rabbits," Silmeria said proudly. "With his arrows and his big curvy thing. Fwap fwap!" The little girl imitated the motion she had seen Rufus make with his bow.

"A bow?" Alicia asked. "My brother has one."

"Rufus is better," Silmeria proclaimed. "He is the best arrow-shooter in the whole world. His arrows are _sparkly_." By this time, Silmeria was more interested in the bovine creature towering above them than defending Rufus's archery skills. She walked up to and and looked straight up. "Eeee!" she squealed, patting the cow's big nose. "She's silly!"

"You can make leather, too... out of cows I mean," Alicia whispered. She was rather uninterested in cows herself having lived all six of her years around them, but having a girl around--that was something new and exciting. "Do you..." she stopped timidly and twiddled her fingers. "Do you want to see my kitty?"

"Ooh, yes!" Silmeria answred, nodding enthusiastically.

Alicia led her across the field and into the barn, being very patient with Silmeria's many distractions. The girl was so quiet but very kind and Silmeria liked her very much. She was pretty and she wore a pink dress. It wasn't green, though.

The barn smelled of wood and warm things. Hay and sawdust were strewn about. Silmeria recognized more of the cow-things in the rooms of the barn, and one was being pulled on by an older boy. "Hey!" Silmeria asked loudly, walking up to the boy who sat on a stool pulling on the cow's underparts. "What are you doing to that Betsy?" she shouted accusingly. "Let go of it!"

"This one's name is Bernice," the boy said. He was tanned and had tawny hair. His overalls were blue and worn ragged. "I'm milking it. Are you stupid or something?"

"I'm not stupid!" Silmeria said to the boy who she felt was much older, bigger, and demanded great authority over her even though he was only twelve. Alicia hid away behind a beam in the bar, choosing not to fight. "You're wasting my time," Silmeria said with a flick of her hand, imitating something that maybe Rufus might have done. She thought that it sounded very grown up and was pleased with the outcome when the boy frowned and had no idea how to respond.

"You have to do that to get the milk out," Alicia whispered, poking her head out again.

"Ew, that's where milk comes from?" Silmeria exclaimed. "Ew! I don't want any cow juice!"

"Alicia, either start doing some work take your friend somewhere else!" the boy griped.

"Okay," Alicia nodded. "Come on."

They retreated to the back of the barn where Alicia seemed happier to be free of her older brother's presence. She stood turning her head from side to side for a little while and then was greeted by a grey cat. It rubbed against her leg arching its body and purring. Alicia kneeled and began to pet it very carefully and gently. "You have to pet him down his neck or he won't like it," she explained in what was little more than a whisper.

Silmeria knelt, fascinated by the docile animal, and reached her hand out. First the cat sniffed it and then arched its body into her palm wanting to be stroked. Silmeria giggled in glee and began to pet. However, her pettings were too enthusiastic and the cat quickly decided against allowing Silmeria to touch him.

"Aw, come back!" Silmeria cried as the cat jumped into the beams of the roof overhead. She looked to Alicia. "What's his name?"

"I um..." Alicia turned away bashfully, spinning on her heels. "His name is Rufus, but I guess if you have a Rufus then we can call him something else... I just call him kitty anyway..."

"He's Rufus the Cat!" Silmeria dubbed the animal. "If he was green then he could really be Rufus the Cat, but I guess that we can still call him Rufus the Cat even if he's grey because his name was Rufus first." She seemed to miss the fact that Rufus was much older than the cat, but anything older than six years was more than she cared to think about anyway. She began to think aloud. "Is there a Rufus the Cow?"

"No..." Alicia softly said. "Our cows are mostly girls."

- - -

The traveling man and his little girl were invited to dinner. She was not referred to as his _daughter_, but simply his _little girl_--a child who was obviously important him, though no one knew even after a long and awkward conversation just how or why.

Rufus hadn't sat at a table in years. It felt like more of a dramatic expanse of time; that he should say eons or epochs instead of simple years that flew by like fall leaves. Regardless, he sat at the table and tried to mind his manners as best as he could.

Silmeria did not.

"I know you didn't forget how to eat at a table," Rufus whispered in annoyance as he pulled Silmeria's hand down and placed it on her lap."

Silmeria turned her face up to him and gave the most petulant "hmf!" he had ever seen, but otherwise minded her manners.

Next to her was the girl--Alicia. Same face, and even the same name. Rufus remembered a legend told to him once by an elf, one that had been presented to him as a scare tactic when he was young. It said that though memories were sealed, some ideas and feelings would carry on through a human's life, and that even other human beings would subconsciously react to these. This is how the gods controlled fate, and how destinies were written. Maybe a name was such a strong association that a parent could feel it when greeted by the new soul within their child. He could not change anything, not even her name.

"Sir Rufus, you look a bit pale."

He snapped to attention and found the lovely Shayla looking at him with a frown of concern. He laughed to shrug it off. "I just can't bear waiting anymore, it smells so good!" Stupid to think about it, he thought. Maybe Alicia was just a popular name in these parts. He tried to tell himself that and bit into his bottom lip so hard that he could taste blood.

Silmeria took no notice of this. She scooted her chair even closer to Alicia's so that they could be together. The two girls and Rufus sat to one side, while most of Ranald's family lined up across from them. Along with Shayla there were two boys. One was almost a teenager and the other was only a toddler barely able to form sentences. The little one sat in an especially tall chair next to his mother. Ranald was at the head, sitting betweem his wife and his guest. Rufus felt welcome here, if not at ease. At least this comforted him, that Alicia's family in this life was both large and warm.

Rufus had never eaten with a family. In Silmeria's party, dinner was usually a grab-and-go affair, in which the grabbing part was a real contest whenever Arngrim was involved. Here, everyone waited patiently as Shayla passed out servings, and nobody touched their plate.

Except for Silmeria. She had her hands around her roll as soon as it was placed on her plate. "Hey, you!" Rufus scolded her. Silmeria looked up at him challengingly, holding the roll in the air, neither daring to raise it closer to her mouth nor yielding to drop it back to her plate. Rufus saw this and scowled. "Do you see anybody else eating?"

"No," Silmeria pouted. "So?"

"So, don't you think that's kinda rude?"

Now she seemed more puzzled than offended. "Rude?"

"Yes, rude," he sighed. "Lady Shayla is the one who cooked all of this food, so it's not fair for you to be over here stuffing your face while she's still passing it out."

"Ah..." Silmeria dropped the roll and looked up at Shayla. The motherly woman was blushing up to her ears as she served her oldest child.

"Thank you mother," the boy said, then darted his eyes to Silmeria to rub it in. Silmeria's face wrinkled up into a look of pure hatred.

This wordless foray was interrupted with Shayla began to laugh. "Oh dear, it's not her!" she reassured them. "My little one over there eats mashed potatoes with his hands, so you can't really offend me, I'm just a it flustered because... well..." Both Rufus and the children looked up at the woman as she came out with it. "Well, no one has ever called me a lady before!"

Ranald watched this with interest and rubbed his beard thoughtfully. "I'm beginning to see how this flattery business works," he said in the tone of a wise man. He slapped Rufus hard on the shoulder again with a laugh. "You must teach me more lines!"

"It's not like I'm qualified to give out tips," Rufus grumbled, wishing he could sink into the floor. It was more frustrating that he _could_ simply disappear if he had to, but he held back for some reason he still had not entirely figured out himself. "You're the one with a wife after all," he noted in chagrin, wondering if they'd believe that a glad-you're-not-as-dead-as-you-were-a-minute-ago hug was the most he'd ever gotten out of a woman. He lowered his head away from Ranald, inadvertently turning his eyes to little Alicia, who was smiling sheepishly at him. He whipped his head back to stare in front of him where Shayla was sitting down.

"Silmeria," she said motheringly. "Before we eat, we must pray and thank Frei for our bounty which allows us to eat so well."

Rufus's stomach turned at the mention of the strange goddess who seemed childlike and caring one moment, and aloof and cold the next. Aside from pointless gossip, she really didn't give a damn about mortals and didn't deserve their thanks for anything.

"And let us thank Odin, who has spared our town from the ravages of war."

It was a wonder Rufus didn't laugh aloud at that part. With Dipan brutally crushed, these peaceful towns felt lucky. Maybe Freya was right and humans, on a very basic level, wanted--_needed_ to feel that the gods were in control and they were not responsible for their own actions. It made him so sick of living that he didn't want to eat anymore.

"What about Valkyrie?" Silmeria piped up.

"Eh?" Shayla looked at Silmeria in alarm. "No, ah... we don't pray to the _Valkyrie_, silly thing."

Silmeria was unconvinced. "Why not?"

"Valkyrie is a goddess of death," Shayla gently explained. "If you commit your life to battle, she will take your soul to fight for the gods. None of us wish for that sort of fate."

He was only half-aware of what he was doing. Rufus took Silmeria's hand underneath the table and squeezed it.

- - -

Rufus's face was all mopey and Silmeria didn't understand why. He must think this whole prayer thing was as boring as she did. She liked holding hands, though. She liked when Rufus held her hand, and so she reached for Alicia's hand. Then she had a friend in both her hands, and it was very nice... except for that she couldn't eat with no hands, and it was time to eat!

Rufus let go of her, and she let go of Alicia. Everyone started to eat all at the same time. She watched Miss Shayla very closely until she chewed and swallowed her first bite. Rufus was right, she felt bad about taking the food once she thought about it. It wasn't like that could be her fault though, she didn't know that making food was hard! Rufus always gave her food and he never asked for her to wait for him to eat first. Rufus never seemed very hungry. Maybe that was why he was so skinny.

She ate her roll first because it was warm and buttery and yummy. It was gone quickly and there were no more. Everyone only had one. She pouted and went on to eat her greens, which tasted pretty good. Most children picked around their greens, but Silmeria liked them second after bread for reasons that should be obvious.

After she had eaten some greens and some potatoes, she began to get thirsty. She looked up and saw that her glass wasn't water, it was full of milk! She grimaced as she remembered where milk comes from. "Eh..." she mumbled, and looked at everyone else's glasses. Everyone was drinking cow juice, even Rufus!

She pulled on Rufus's sleeve. "Fufus," she whispered, fumbling on the sounds again. "Don't drink that!"

"Huh?" Rufus grumbled, shaking her off of his arm. "What are you doing now?"

She grabbed his arm again and pulled. "Listen," she whispered. Rufus bent down, letting her cup her hand around his ear and whisper to him. "I found out that milk comes from cow-thing's underparts!" she whispered. Rufus's ears never showed, they were always covered up by his weird hat and his hair. It tickled her nose.

"Uhg," Rufus groaned, and placed his hand on her head. "I can't believe I am stuck with a kid who eats tons of veggies, but doesn't like milk!" He shook his hand as it rest on her head so that she wiggled in her chair under it. "Milk is a luxery, you know. Haven't you heard of the land of milk and honey? This milk is the best stuff you could ever drink!"

Miss Shayla smiled and batted her eyes. "Oh, I'm glad that you appreciate it so much, Sir Rufus," she said. "But it's normal for children to reject certain foods. I'll get her some water. Ranald will gladly drink the extra milk."

"Give it 'ere little lady," Randard agreed, reaching his thick arm past Rufus. His arm seemed bigger than Silmeria's entire body put together. She cautiously slid the glass over the smooth wood of the table to the large man with some help from Rufus to keep it from tipping over. Shayla then replaced it with a glass of water.

"What do you say?" Rufus asked her in a patronizing tone that she absolutely hated, but forgot about as soon as she realized what he was saying.

"Oh!" Silmeria gasped. "Thank you Miss Shalee, I like water!"

The adults at the table laughed while the kids didn't. Alicia's older brother was a jerk and her younger one was just a baby. She looked back at Alicia and saw that the girl was looking at Rufus. "It's okay," she said in a low tone while the grown-up types started talking about something. "That's Fufus. He looks funny but he's nice."

"I'm not scared of him," Alicia replied. It was quiet as ever, but sounded like a firm declaration. Silmeria supposed that her meek friend got accused of being afraid a lot. Especially of strangers, probably.

Miss Shayla turned her attention back to the young ones after the adults had finished eating. They ate really slow, it was annoying. "You all can have a ginger snap for desert if you like," she said sweetly.

"What's a jen-jar snap?" Silmeria asked.

Rufus placed his hand on her head again. "Just eat one," he chuckled. "If you tell me you don't like sweets next, I might just disown you."

He seemed surprised when, instead of giving him the usual stinky face, she flashed a big grin. It had to mean that she was his to begin with if he could threaten to give her away.


	4. Chapter 4

(1)

After dinner and after the children had eaten their treats and played a good deal more, it was almost dark and Ranald's family looked exhausted. Those who work on farms woke up with the sun, after all. Rufus felt that he had imposed on them enough. Coming here had been a stupid idea on the whole. He was careless to think that he could act normally with Alicia around, let alone to think that a family would just accept a child no questions asked.

"Time to go, Silmeria," Rufus said softly, taking the girl by the hand. She was yawning too, though her morning had started not quite so early. Playing with Alicia tuckered her out. Rufus could not help but glance once more at Alicia's child form and found her sleeping in a chair, arms wrapped tightly around the doll she and Silmeria were playing with hours earlier.

"Can we come back tomorrow?" Silmeria asked with a yawn.

"Sure," Ranald answered her kindly. "You can come play with Alicia whenever you want, just ask for Mister Rufus's permission first."

"Thank you for dinner," Rufus said, bowing deeply. "It was great."

Shalya was overcome again by his polite behavior. "Oh my," she squeaked. "You don't have to bow!"

Ranald laughed again. Rufus was glad that he found it funny, because a man prone to jealousy might read more into her reactions. The little woman just was not accustomed to strangers. As he chuckled, the big guy took a few steps to join Rufus and Silmeria as they approached the door. "I'll go with you to the inn," he said.

"No," Rufus answered. "I've been enough trouble for you already."

"I think it's best if I accompanied you," he said, his expression turning a bit awkward. The level of volume in his voice decreased quite a bit. "Might look odd--a stranger taking a little girl to a hotel after dark."

"Oh!" Rufus coughed as his face turned completely red. "I... I hadn't even thought about that..."

"You could be a little less suspicious!" Ranald laughed, the loudness of his voice returned. "How about taking off the hood when you walk through town first of all?"

"Thanks for the tip," Rufus sighed and covered his face with his hand in embarrassment. The very idea was so horrible; and, unaware of Alicia's role in all of this, Ranald could never understand just how horrible.

(2)

The inn-keeper was an older man with several daughters and no sons. His daughters were all of age, but none were yet married. Rufus was thankful for Ranald's presence again as he entered the establishment and all three young ladies hid behind the counter, peeking over it to catch a glimpse of him.

At the sound of Ranald's hearty laughter, they scattered and ran into the room behind the desk like startled birds. "I might as well be walking with a zebra or a peacock!" Ranald said. "These girls act as if they've never seen a traveler before!"

"I guess it's better to be treated like an exotic beast than a farm animal," Rufus sighed, not unfamiliar with this sort of treatment. Ranald found this funny as well; he seemed to find humor in a lot of things. Explaining why it was so very far from funny was not something Rufus could do, so he laughed along with him.

All of this stirred Silmeria, who had been up until this point resting comfortably on Rufus's back. She began to squirm to be let down, even though as her feet touched the ground she swayed groggily. "What's this place?" she asked.

"We're going to stay here overnight," Rufus explained, promising no more than this.

The owner of the inn came out at the sound of all of this ruckus and instantly became excited at the arrival of travelers. He was a small man with a round face, a bald head, and a pair of thick spectacles. "Oh my!" he exclaimed as he hopped up onto a stool and began to flip through his record books. He looked up at the tall, green-haired stranger and strained his eyes, and then continued to scan through the pages eagerly, flipping further back in his book. "I know you! You've not been here in a while!"

"Uh... maybe you're mistaken," Rufus grumbled, wishing that the man's memory would suffer half as much as his eyesight seemed to.

He went on, ignoring him. "Yep, it was six years ago. You came through here several times with a large group, and then once with just the young wom--" he looked up at Rufus, realizing that said young woman was nowhere nearby, and yet there was a little girl about six years of age. "Terribly sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"No, it's all right. I did pass through here a few times," Rufus admitted, avoiding the suspicious looks coming from Ranard. Once again the man seemed more curious than disapproving, but he still didn't like being stared at.

"Signed your name here," the old man said. "Rufus, is it?"

Rufus was hit all at once with memories of Alicia, and how he had agreed to sign his name. Because, of course, Alicia was avoiding pursuit and Rufus was nothing more than an anonymous traveler.

"Yeah, that's his name." For all the discomfort Ranald had caused him that night, the good-humored man seemed to understand when to change the subject. "I'd like you to get my friend and his little girl a room," he said.

"Certainly," the innkeeper replied. He pushed his glasses onto his nose and wrote Rufus's name anew, making a side-note of the child. "We'll have a complimentary breakfast at sunrise, so be sure to wake up early."

"Great," Rufus said in relief. "Thanks. No so long as Silmeria doesn't figure out where eggs come from, we should be all right."

"Bring the girl by tomorrow," Ranald offered. "She can play with Alicia, and you and I can talk a bit more."

Rufus kept his hand firmly clenched around Silmeria's as he faced Ranald. "There's something you want, isn't there?" he said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but there's gotta be more to this than just good old country hospitality."

"You're pretty sharp," Ranald replied, an amused grin on his face. "Come by tomorrow, and I'll tell you what I've got in mind.

(3)

Following that cryptic response, Ranald said his goodbyes and left the innkeeper and his daughters to tend to Rufus. The three ladies stalked him in the halls without showing themselves like ghosts as their father led him, oblivious to how he captivated their attention. Rufus found this all very annoying, and considered the idea that assuming the role of Silmeria's father might at least ward off this sort of attention. He was glad once he was in a room with two little beds and a few candles lit. The day had been tiresome even for him, a supposed god.

Apparently exhaustion could overcome Silmeria's curiosity after all. She was so tired from playing and stuffing herself with good, home-made food, that she fell into the bed without even exploring the room. Rufus marveled at how she remembered to do things like hold silverware and tuck herself into blankets, though she had forgotten the very people who had taught her these things. She knew to call Shayla "Miss" even though Rufus himself was unsure about how to address women of average class. He had started calling her "lady" out of habit as if she were nobility. Simple folk said things like misses and mister.

"Rufus," she called softly as she sank into the soft mattress. "Do you know any songs?"

"Songs?" Rufus asked. "No, why?"

"I like to sing a song before I go to sleep."

He was at a loss. There were no songs that he knew, and he wasn't about to sing no matter what the conditions. "Do _you_ know any songs?" he asked.

"Sorta," she responded, trying very hard to remember. "I can't sleep unless I sing my goodnight song."

"You look pretty sleepy to me," Rufus chuckled. "Your eyes are all puffy. You never needed to sing a song before."

Silmeria rolled onto her back and looked at him. "It's different because I'm in a bed!" The expression in her eyes was strange and pleading. "Sing it with me."

"Sorry, I don't know how," he said, glad for the excuse.

"It's like this," Silmeria began, sitting up. "The moon is in the sky, the moon is in the sky; time for bed so say bye-bye; the moon is always by your side; even if you walk far and wide;" Her voice was terribly off-key, but had the unbearable charm of any adorable child. She started the next verse. "And if us two don't meet a again--"

She stopped following the tune here to explain, "and if there's more than two people then you just say us three or four or however many."

"I gotcha," Rufus said, nodding.

"And if us two don't meet a again; the moon will still be with you, friend; So if you wander far from home; and you feel sad and all alone; just take a look up at the moon; and know I'll see you plenty soon." After this was done, she was silent and noticed that Rufus was not saying anything. "And that's the end," she pointed out, hoping to put an end to his blank staring.

"I like your song," he told her. "But... I think it sounds better when you sing it. I would just mess it up."

"You just gotta practice, shtupid!" she argued, lisping on the insult, and flipped over, her back facing him. He sat on the other bed in the room, not sleepy at all. Her attitude made him want to laugh, but he managed to hold it in. It was enough that he wanted to.

(4)

Silmeria fell quickly asleep. Rufus could hear her snoring a little and believed that she wouldn't wake easily. He put out the few candles lighting the room, which left him in only minimal darkness. It was a clear night and the moon was almost full. He wondered if Silmeria was aware that there was such a thing as a new moon; a moonless night.

He laid in his bed, finding it more comfortable than he expected. The mattress was straw and feather, yielding to his weight with a certain rough quality that gave it character. Or maybe it was the fact that he was enjoying the comfort of it that surprised him. As he laid there letting himself think--a stupid thing to do sometimes, letting yourself think--the ridiculousness of his situation became clearer. Eating dinner with a god-fearing family and agreeing to help raise a human child, what was he _doing_?

As he laid there thinking, despite all of his effort to keep from doing just that; he found himself thinking of Alicia once again. Briefly he wondered just how pathetic a person can get, but for the first time in a long time he realized could think of her without the tearing sensation in his heart being too overbearing. It was still there, and it would likely always be there; but he could now remember the warmth of her smile and her glittering laughter without wanting to pull that useless organ right out of his chest. Perhaps the truth was that being close to her had actually helped somehow, to know that she is at least happy. All that he wanted to do before he died was to save her, or at least that was the original plan. Now Midgard's future was Alicia's future. He had to change this world.

He was falling asleep. He might even have a nice dream, which was a truly astonishing concept. This miracle was short-lived as Silmeria's high-pitched and squeaky voice rang out in the darkness. Rufus jumped at the sound of it, all of his thoughts shattered.

"What is that _noise_?" she whispered fearfully in such a loud and forceful way that it defeated the real point of whispering in the first place.

Rufus listened. He could hear nothing but the usual sounds of night in a wooded area. "What noise?"

"That... _riiiii riiii riiii_ noise!" Silmeria mimicked as best as she could.

"They're just frogs," Rufus groaned. "You didn't ever notice them before?"

He heard the ruffle of sheets as Silmeria sat up straight in her bed and began to move around, holding her blanket over herself for protection. "Can they get inside?" she asked him nervously.

"They're _tiny_," Rufus reassured her in an annoyed tone. "Just go to sleep!"

Silmeria was silent for a moment, but as soon as Rufus though she might have let it go, she spoke again, sounding even more startled. "Do they have teeth?"

"No! I mean, well... I dunno," Rufus stumbled, realizing he had never gotten a good look at a frog's mouth.

"W-what if they come in through the window?" He heard the shakiness of her voice then and that was the first time since opening the locked box that he had seen Silmeria--the valkyrie or the girl--truly afraid.

He sighed in defeat and stood, getting out of his bed. After taking a few steps across the room, he lit the candle on the nightstand and found the girl squeezing the blankets so tightly that her knuckles were white. He smiled and sat down next to her, placing his hand over her head. "Frogs are nice animals," he said. "All they eat is bugs. They help us out because they eat nasty mosquitos and cockroaches."

His attempt to comfort her backfired when she looked up at him, her big blue eyes wide in fright. "What are misquitos?" she asked him. "Are there any cockroaches inside?"

"Uh," Rufus thought there probably were--more likely than frogs anyway. "There's nothing that can hurt you here, I promise."

Silmeria grasped his leather armband with her tiny hands, scratching at the diamond pattern inlaid in to with fingernails in need of clipping. "I'm scared," she said, trying to pull him closer. The admittance of that was even more shocking than the fact itself. "Can I sleep with you?"

"Uh, um," Rufus mumbled, "I don't think that's such a--"

"Please! Please!" she begged.

He exhaled a deep breath in defeat and sat down on the edge of her bed. "Come here," he sighed. "No, I can't sleep with you, but just lay down here, okay?"

Silmeria approached him timidly. She leaned her head into his lap and bundled up in the blankets. Rufus allowed her to without feeling nervous or embarrassed as he would with any other person. Even with Alicia, he would have been blushing to the ears. Especially with Alicia in fact, but not at all with this child. As he attempted to run his fingers through her hair he realized that it was tangled and dirty. "We need to get you cleaned up first thing tomorrow, okay?" he said.

"Ew," she responded sleepily. " I have to take a bath?"

"I think you definitely need one," he laughed softly. He hadn't done much but wipe dirt off of her face since he met her. How he would go about it was the tricky part. Obviously he couldn't just bathe a little girl. It wasn't right, even if somehow through all of this he was accepted by the town as the girl's father. He doubted he would ever feel right about that, though fathers were supposed to. "I'll ask Miss Shayla for help," he decided aloud. "She will know what to do with you."

"Let's have bath time _together_," Silmeria yawned rather persuasively, which Rufus had never seen anyone do.

Rufus lifted his free arm and smacked himself in the face with it. "No, we _definitely_ can't have bath time together."

"But!"

"Hey, no buts," he chided her, and pat her head again to keep her from raising it. "Go back to sleep."

Silmeria conceded out of exhaustion and laid her head against his knee again. She stirred a bit more, but was stilled by a simple pat on the shoulder. Rufus believed he wouldn't get any sleep tonight after all, but this was acceptable. This little girl curled up on his lap needed him, and that was more than he could ask for.

(5)

Dreams were frustrating for Silmeria. She often dreamt of people whose faces she thought she knew, but whom she could not remember no matter how hard she tried.

There was a man with big strong muscles and a scary face. His eyes were dark and menacing, but whenever she saw him, she got the feeling that he was just a big softie. Sometimes scary-looking people just need a hug, after all. It's not their fault that they look scary. He was her friend. She knew that he would help her. He'd carry her on his back like a big pet bear, and scare away all the bad people.

There were people fighting, always fighting in her dreams. People who liked fighting as well as people who did not want to fight; she saw many of them, but she could not name a one. They wore armor or they shot bows, and sometimes they even used magic. Rufus was one of those people she saw. Was he one of the ones who wanted to fight, or one of the ones who had no choice? Maybe he was both.

When she opened her eyes again, she felt someone shaking her. "Wake up, lazy," Rufus griped. Silmeria began to grumble without bothering to form words and flipped over to show him her back.

"Okay, then," Rufus answered. Silmeria had won, and he left her alone to sleep. The sun was not even in the window yet! Why was he trying to get her up? Stupid Rufus.

She remained there wallowing in her victory until she heard an unsettling sound. The door opened and shut softly, announcing that no one was in the room with her any longer. Rufus had left her. "Ooh!" she squealed in anger, twisting in the bed and tearing the sheets from their place. "You're mean, Fufas!" she yelled, not that anyone could hear her.

After rolling around for a little while, she gave up and laid still on her back, the most furious pout on her face. Then she took a deep breath and distinctly recognized the smell of toast, bacon, and eggs. She let out a scream in frustration and then left out of the bed. "Fufas left me!" she screeched as her tiny feet slammed onto the warm wooden floorboards.

Then she stopped cold, a thought suddenly springing into her young mind. What if Rufus really _did_ leave? What if he didn't just leave for breakfast? He didn't want to stay here. She could tell. What if he left her here to live with the cow people?

"Ah!" she began to cry as she ran for the door. Half in anger and half in desperation, tears burned in her eyes. "Wait, Fufas!" she yelled. "Don't leave!"

She threw the door open and ran through it without looking. Her small body slammed full force into another that was tall and lanky. Her forehead smacked into the metal plates that protected his knees. "Ow," she whimpered.

"Oh geez," Rufus laughed, pitifully concerned but still finding humor in it. He lifted her chin and brushed her hair back to check the wound. Silmeria hardly noticed it anymore.

"You tricked me!" Silmeria pouted, and smacked his thigh with her balled up fist. "I thought you were gonna leaf!"

"Leaf?" Rufus mumbled, confused. "Is this some kinda tree-head joke?"

"DON'T LEAF," Silmeria screamed at him, and then promptly threw her arms around his knees as tight as she could. Rufus almost fell over when thrown off balance by her surprising force. "I don't wanna live with the cow people!" she cried. "I don't like cow juice!"

"H-hey," Rufus stammered at a complete loss. He took a deep breath in a remorseful way and then knelt so that Silmeria was close to his face. "I'm not gonna leave," he said, using a special soft voice that was only for her. Then he laughed and rubbed her head. "Chill out, okay?"

Silmeria was still sniffling a bit. "If you lef' me I'd be rilly mad."

"I'll stay," Rufus said, but something in his voice made her feel uncertain. "I want you to go see Miss Shayla and Alicia today, though. I'll go with you so that I can talk to Mister Ranald."

"Okay," Silmeria agreed.

"Right," Rufus said, ending the argument on an optimistic note. "Come on, let's get some grub."

(6)

"Oh, goodness gracious!" Miss Shayla exclaimed as Rufus led Silmeria around the back of the simple home. "Mister Rufus, surely you have more sense than to let a girl sleep in her clothes!"

Rufus scratched the back of his head, speechless and struck with the most dumbfounded expression. Silmeria giggled even though she was the cause of this, because Rufus was getting a tongue-lashing, and that was funny. "Um," he mumbled, turning red from guilt. "I just... well, I didn't think of it."

Shayla sighed deeply and began to run a pump over a large basin. It was tucked away in a secluded corner of the back yard, veiled from the outside world by lush tree branches. "That's why-- a man like you-- needs a wife!" she scolded, straining to pump as she spoke.

"Ah, let me get that!" Rufus sputtered, and immediately took over the pump, fumbling nervously for the lever. He was able to move the handle up and down without much effort. "I'm really sorry, I don't know anything about kids!"

Silmeria was giggling so much that her stomach hurt. "Fufus got into trouble!" she laughed, doubling over. This all turned out satisfactory for Rufus when Miss Shayla grabbed and dunked the tittering child head-first into the tub rapidly filling with water while she was still dressed in her clothes.

"Ha ha!" Rufus laughed obnoxiously.

"Oh no you don't!" Miss Shayla snapped at him. "You're next if you're not cleaned up by the next time I see you!"

Rufus grimaced, surprised at the little woman's forcefulness, and promptly shut his mouth. He wondered how exactly being bathed by a beautiful woman could be a threat, and yet somehow he was afraid.

Silmeria sat in the basin, her dress soaked, pouting furiously. At least she could have done it while her shoes were still on so that she could get some new shoes. She liked the green shoes she saw in Crell Monterfriange. The doctor's wife was wearing them. They had big spikes on them that made her look taller.

She folded her arms over her chest as Rufus continued pumping cool water over her head. This was downright insulting. The cool water felt nice in the summer heat, the sun sparkling through the leaves onto her face and warming her in the same instant. But really, the only reason she put up with it is because Rufus was wearing himself out to pump her bath water, and that's how things ought to be.

"That's enough," Shayla said. "Thank you, Rufus. You can go now."

"Heh," Rufus chuckled as he raised the pump's handle a final time. "Good luck, kiddo."

"Why doesn't he take a bath too?" Silmeria shouted, pointing a finger accusingly.

Shayla began to wash both Silmeria and the dress she wore, which were equally dirty, with a bar of soap. "Well," she explained in an amused tone. "Silmeria, girls aren't to show their unclothed bodies to men; and men must not see a woman's body naked either. It isn't proper."

Silmeria was deeply confused by this. "Oh, why not?"

"Because," Shayla began to say, a softness in her voice. "You must wait until you are married. You don't want to marry Mister Rufus, do you?"

"Ew, _no_!" Silmeria shouted.

Rufus had almost managed to escape the situation without turning beet red in the face, but this caught him as he was creeping away. Instead of turning to contest this, he shuffled off at double the speed and disappeared into the house.

Silmeria gave a "hmf!" in triumph. With Rufus and all other male presences removed from the premises, she allowed Miss Shayla to lift her dress over her head and arms. "Do you know any songs?" she asked her.

"Of course I do," Miss Shayla replied, and she began to sing one.

(7)

Rufus sat once again in the den of the dairy farmer's home. Ranald, despite having stayed out a bit late the previous night, had been up and working long before Rufus brought Silmeria over. Ranald's presence was always huge when he entered a room, like a one-man party. He must have livened up many taverns in his day.

They had already said their hellos before Rufus sent Silmeria out to bathe, and Rufus frowned knowing that this must be the serious part of their visit. Instead, Ranald leaned back in one of his chair and lit up a pipe while groaning in relaxation. "Ah, I'm glad you're here. That woman never gives me a break unless I have a good excuse."

Rufus shrugged at this and began to wonder about what Shayla said to him. He lifted his arm up and took a deep breath. "I don't stink, do I?" he asked Ranald.

Ranald, who had broken a sweat with whatever chores he had been tending to, opened his mouth and let out a loud "Naw!" He laughed and exhaled a puff of smoke. "You smell like a man ought to! Don't let a woman get her clutches into you. That's where we all make our mistake."

Rufus smiled. "But you seem pretty happy here."

"Yeah, she's great," he sighed in distant contentment. "I guess frequent bathing isn't such a heavy price to pay."

"How long have you been married to your wife?" Rufus asked, trying to ease into the whole art of conversation which he so exceedingly failed at.

Ranald took another long puff of smoke. "Ten years," he said. "Got married after Dipan's last war, before it fell apart."

"Ah," Rufus nodded, looking down. He thought that their eldest boy looked older than ten, but perhaps he was mistaken.

"Dipan's fall has caused a lot of ill to happen around these parts," Ranald went on in a serious tone, sitting up straight. "You can't see it just by looking on the surface, but there has been a large shift. Without Dipan around, the powers of Midgard are no longer in balance. We have been at peace for some time now. Even the war I fought in was localized and lasted not even two years."

"You were a soldier?" Rufus asked him. "Ha, I don't know why I'm surprised. I'm sure you'd frighten everyone on the battlefield away." In fact, he imagined Ranald on the battlefield looking something like Arngrim.

Ranald laughed loudly again, which was not hard to get him to do, but was a good response nonetheless. "Yeah, I fought on the battlefield. That's why I appreciate every drop of life I've got left."

"I understand," Rufus replied.

"My wife doesn't much like the idea of a valkyrie coming to take me of to battle again," he laughed, although this time his laughter was not so good-humored. "Even in death."

Rufus chuckled under his breath. "It's not so bad."

"Where was I?" Ranald asked, shaking himself out of the grips of nostalgia. "Ah, yes. I've got an idea for you."

"I'm listening," Rufus answered, hoping to get to the heart of the matter quickly."

"Dipan's fall has left the region unstable, and there are parties that have taken notice of that." Rufus listened carefully as Ranald explained this. "Solde has turned into a seedy criminal town, and we have no public guard to speak of. Just a bunch of farmers like me with swords they haven't carried in years. I see that you happen to be an archer."

"I am."

"A man who travels with a bow and without a blade must put quite a deal of faith into his skills."

Rufus shrugged. "I've never needed to rely on anything else."

"I have been thinking that you and I could come to an agreement," Ranald went on, puffing on his pipe again. "You need someone to help you raise a child, and we need someone to protect our town."

"I don't think I can do that," Rufus said, heaving a frustrated sigh. "I've got to stay on the move."

One of Ranald's bushy eyebrows raised. "Are you a wanted man?"

"You could say that," Rufus ventured, hoping not to give too much away. "Not wanted by any country's authority though, I assure you."

"Wanted by a woman, perhaps?" Ranald guessed.

Rufus instantly thought of Freya and couldn't help but laugh. "You could also say that," he replied.

"You can't take the girl from town to town forever, you said it yourself. Your work is too dangerous for that."

Rufus shifted in his chair, suddenly unable to get comfortable. "I guess..."

Ranald saw this and began to press the tips of his fingers together, thinking. "What if you make yourself a little home here in Coriander, one where you can keep Silmeria when you are here. She deserves a real home, all little girls do. And, when you feel you need to move about, you can go fulfill marks in other towns, or whatever is your trade. We can watch over Silmeria here. The important thing is that she always knows that you are coming back to her."

That was it. He was stuck with Silmeria now, for better or worse. Not unlike the first time he met her, he felt that the choice wasn't his, that it was fate stringing him along. "You'd help me do this in return for my services," Rufus summed up.

"Occasionally we may ask you to root out some unwanted nuisances," Ranald said. "But that's your living in any case, or isn't it?"

That was the only way Rufus knew how to make money, that was for certain. "So what am I if I accept this?" Rufus laughed bitterly. "The town mercenary?"

Ranald laughed uproariously. "You could think of it that way, yeah!"

Rufus slumped back in his chair and hung his head. What a job description. What was worse, the more he thought about it, the more obvious it became that there wasn't a better option available. He had once again chained himself unwittingly to Silmeria's fate, and what pained him more, to Alicia's as well.


	5. Chapter 5

(1)

Silmeria returned from her bath wearing a dress that Rufus had never seen before. It was white and simple, no favorite flower patterns or frills sewn into it with the care of a mother like the dress that Alicia wore. When she pranced into the den clean and fresh, her hair was so much shinier that Rufus was accustomed to that he was dumbfounded. It was radiant like a goddess's should be. Just a few gold tassels around the hem of her long skirt and a set of armor and he would be in the presence of the tiniest goddess of death to ever walk Midgard.

"All clean now!" the little girl teased, and threw her hair over her shoulders as if modeling a new artisan wardrobe.

"You're kinda pretty under all that dirt," he agreed, and gently flicked her in the forehead with his index finger. Silmeria let out a trademark _hmf!_ and frowned at him as she took his hand and began to shake it up and down.

Shayla entered the den after her. Ranald had gone back to his business. A man who ran a farm couldn't stay off his feet for very long, he explained, especially not with a wife like his Shayla. The small woman smiled pleasantly. "This is Alicia's spare dress," she explained. "Silmeria may borrow it until her own is dry, but I will be needing it back."

"Of course," Rufus answered with a nod of understanding. To make clothing was both expensive and time-consuming for common people. "I guess we may as well hang around here until her clothes dry off if that's okay with you."

"Oh, of course it is," she replied. "I suppose that I should think of something more for lunch than--"

"You don't have to go to that trouble," Rufus interjected, smiling. He looked down at Silmeria. "On second thought, your friend is at school right now anyway, right?" he asked her. "Why don't we go get some food and come back for the clothes later?"

"Okay," Silmeria agreed. "Fooooood!

Shayla began to fret even more at the sound of that. "Oh, I didn't mean to run you off! I should have said nothing at all!"

"Don't worry," he reassured her. "She was awfully good today, wasn't she?"

"Yes," Shayla replied. "Silmeria was very well-behaved."

"Then I should do something parenting-like and reward her, right?"

He had been feeling a bit more confident, but then Shayla began to look at him with undue admiration, almost like one of those girls at the inn. "Oh, that's so very sweet," she swooned. "In that case, the two of you have a lovely day, and I hope to see you at dinner."

He chuckled nervously and took Silmeria's hand. "See you later then."

"What do I get?" Silmeria asked him, failing to notice his sudden discomfort.

"I'll show you later," he answered her.

"I wanna know _now_!"

"But that would ruin the surprise," he laughed as he pulled her out of the living room and through the front door. The truth was that he hadn't the foggiest idea of what to get for her, but there was no reason to tell her that.

(2)

Trips into the heart of Coriander were short; the place was not big enough to warrant any sort of transportation. Even so, Rufus allowed Silmeria to take a ride on his shoulders. She smelled like good old soap with none of that rich perfume added and her hair was soft and curly.

"So what did you talk to Miss Shayla about?" he asked, hoping to initiate conversation before Silmeria started up one of her endless inquisitions.

"Bad people," she said with an uninterested sigh.

"Bad people?" Rufus wondered aloud. "What do you mean by that?"

"She told me that bad people will steal little girls like me," Silmeria explained. "So I'm supposed 'ta stay with you if I'm not at Alicia's house. Alicia always has to stay with her big brother."

"That's a good idea," Rufus agreed, wondering if there was truth to Ranald's prediction of darkness after all. With the Dragon orb safely in the possession of one very tough former associate of his, he had hoped that Midgard would not be plagued by such social unrest. "Did she say anything else?"

"Hmm," Silmeria pondered, putting a finger to her lip as she thought on it. "Oh, she asked me a lot of weird questions."

Rufus kept walking, hoping that Silmeria would not notice the fluctuation in his pace. "Like what?"

"She asked me about my momma, so I told her I don't remember 'cause I don't. Then she asked me what my favorite color was, so I told her green. And she asked some other stuff I don't remember." She went on thinking about it for a moment. "Oh," she continued. "She asked me does Mr. Rufus ever touch a place that he's not s'posed to touch."

"W-_what_?" Rufus sputtered. He tripped, but Silmeria was not alarmed at all. She adjusted her weight and continued riding atop his shoulders as if this sort of thing was to be expected of her clumsy steed.

"I didn't know either!" Silmeria said. "Did she mean that you pick your nose or something?"

"Uh-- not exactly--" Rufus coughed, trying desperately to keep from sounding worried. "So what did you tell her?"

"I told her that you don't do anything bad!" she said. "Wull... except when you're a meanie. Then she said that you're a good daddy. But what I told her is that you're not my daddy, you're a Rufus."

Rufus laughed, feeling relieved. Some suspicion was natural, after all. "And just how many Rufuses are there?" he chuckled.

"Well, lots!" Silmeria replied. "Like Alicia's kitty, his name is Rufus too."

"Your friend," Rufus said softly. "Her cat has my name..."

Silmeria smacked the top of his head a few times playfully. "You have _his_ name, Fufus."

Rufus sighed at the inarguable logic behind that. "So did you talk about anything else?"

"Did you know boys and girls have different... you-know-whats?"

Rufus balked again. "Huh?"

"You know..." Silmeria hushed her voice and whispered into Rufus's ear. "Pee-pees." Then she leaned back and bucked so that Rufus nearly dropped her. "That's why boys are yucky! Miss Shaylee said so! Hahaha!"

"Hey calm down up there," Rufus groaned. "You're going to rip all my hair out."

(3)

Once they reached the main road of the town, Silmeria requested to be put on her feet. She looked here and there at all of the houses built alongside the dirt road. "How come you don't have a house?" she asked, pulling Rufus along by the hand. He allowed her to lead him wherever she liked so long as she wasn't running into other people's homes.

"I am a traveler," Rufus explained. "I don't have a home."

"Well, why not?" she asked again, unsatisfied by that answer. "Why don't you get one?"

"You have to find a place where there isn't a house, and then you have to build one," Rufus elaborated. "Then you have to find a trade. You have to do something for a living. Since my trade is travel, I can't have a home."

"I'll get one for you!" Silmeria said confidently, quite sure that this solution would put any further argument to rest.

Rufus chuckled. "Oh yeah, and what sort of trade will you earn money with?"

"Hmm..." she deliberated for not even five seconds. "Monster teeth."

"Monster teeth?"

"Yeah!" she replied. "You can bring me all kinds of monster teeth and I'll sell them to people."

"I am looking forward to this business you're setting up," Rufus responded as he began to take the lead again. He began to scout out for a vendor with some quick sandwiches or something for lunch, but Coriander just wasn't a place where people wandered through often looking for a fast meal.

He felt strangely naked without his hood walking among the people of Coriander. Some stopped to look twice, but there was no reason for a person who had never seen elves to associate him with being one. Just so long as he kept his ears covered he was nothing more than a strange-looking guy. Still, it felt as if somebody knew something and as if every look he received said _you don't belong here_.

He led her into the deli, hoping to find something to eat. Silmeria immediately went "Ooh!" and stuck her nose against the window.

"Hey, don't put your face on stuff like that," Rufus nagged. "You'll leave smudges all over that people have to clean.

Silmeria completely ignored him and began to blow at the window, so that from the other side everyone in the store could see the inside of her mouth. "Look from the other side!" she urged Rufus and began to blow again. "Baaaaaaaaaaah!"

"I told you to stop that," Rufus said, pulling on her arm. Silmeria looked more disappointed that he didn't find all this funny than scolded. "You better behave or I'm not going to get you that thing I said I'd get you."

"You won't tell me what it is!"

"Yeah, well you won't find out if you don't be good okay? Come on." He led her into the establishment, half-mumbling _what the hell am I doing_ under his breath.

Inside there was a sign: _Out to Lunch, Please Put Your OTH in the Jar_. He marveled at the expectation on honesty and collected enough to make lunch for Silmeria. She only ate a little, so he ended up taking some of the samples of meat and cheese along with a few crackers.

"No veggies?" Silmeria pouted when he handed them to her.

"Maybe later," he said. Having no idea what to leave for pay, he estimated and then threw double that number.

By the time they were back outside, Silmeria had already inhaled half of her lunch.  
Hey, slow down," he said, and took a seat on the front steps of the deli. Silmeria plopped down right next to him, rubbing against his side without any sense of personal space.

"You don't get hungry much do you?" Silmeria asked, munching on cheese.

"I'm a light eater," he replied.

Silmeria let that be and scarfed down the rest, then she jumped up and was ready to be on her way. It was such a short break that Rufus suddenly had flashbacks of the Crawsus Forest, being forced out into the rain to scout after he hadn't even had any food.Silmeria and Leone were both relentless at keeping Arngrim and himself busy at all times.

He rose tiredly to his feet without complaint and took the little girl by the hand. Silmeria led even though she had no idea where they were headed. "So what was that place?" she asked.

"A deli," Rufus answered. "They sell meat and cheese. Ranald makes the cheese on his farm and he sells it to the deli. Then the deli sells it."

"Why?"

"Well, because if Ranald is making the milk and cheese he doesn't have time to be selling stuff himself," Rufus tried to explain. Economics weren't his strong point. "Why don't I teach you a little about towns," he went on, figuring he may as well do something productive with her while they were here. He knew from past experiences both in this life and her last that Silmeria was a very sharp and observant person. He relied on that fact very much, considering himself a rather poor teacher.

Silmeria looked up as they passed through the quaint town shops. He pointed at each building as he explained them. "That's an item shop. They trade with travelers like me to get things that people in this town can't make on their own. If you need medicine or tools, you get them there."

Silmeria nodded, though he was not sure how much of this she understood. "Oh, okay."

"That's the inn we're staying at. Travelers like me stay at these places since we don't have houses."

"What's that over there?" Silmeria asked, waving a pointed finger in the direction of another building.

"That's the bakery," Rufus explained as he pulled her along. "Come on, I know what to get you now."

Silmeria was so excited by this that she forgot all about the lesson in progress. "Ooh!"

He led her into the bakery where the smell of fresh bread was overwhelming. There was already a woman being waited on, so Rufus stood aside for a moment. Silmeria, in the meantime, examined all of the things inside. "Look, but don't touch anything," he said. "Other people want to eat it, so don't touch it."

"Okay," Silmeria responded in a disappointed tone, but obeyed. She busied herself looking at all of the kinds of bread on display. Rufus thought it must be strange for such a small person to see a piece of bread larger than her head. Some of the loafs were longer than her height all together.

"That's a cute little girl you have, stranger," the woman said to him as she left the store with her goods.

"Uh, thanks, I think," Rufus mumbled. He was amused by how it was so commonplace to just call anyone you didn't know "stranger."

"Hey there, friend!" the baker greeted him. He was another big man, sort of like Ranald, but heavier around his stomach than his chest. "Haven't seen you around before."

"I'm passing through," he said quietly, hoping that Silmeria would not hear him and grow alarmed. "I just wanted to get some kind of treat for her. You guys sell some of those..." he stopped, realizing that he wasn't sure just what to call it. "It's sweet and it has a hole in the middle..."

"A doughnut?" the man laughed. "Ho boy, you sure aren't from around here if you don't know what that is!" Rufus watched curiously as he retrieved a set of tongs and pulled some sort of pastry out of a basket behind the counter. "Basically a fried ring of cake. It's great."

"Would a little girl like it?" Rufus asked as he looked skeptically at the basket of rings. "It is sweet?"

"Hold on a second," the man said as he pulled out something else. He took out a small bowl of something and put it on the counter. "Girls like pink, right?" he asked Rufus, as if he should know, and revealed a sugary pink substance in the bowl.

"Oh," Rufus wondered, a brilliant idea suddenly occurring to him. "Well... do you have green?" he asked.

"Normally boys ask for green,but sure enough, I've got it," the man chuckled. He put the pink icing away, and took out a bowl of the same thing in bright green. He dipped the doughnut into the viscous liquid and set it on a piece of corn husk which had been cleaned and rolled out flat to use in the place of paper. "It's messy, but kids like that," the man laughed as he handed it to Rufus. "The price is five OTH, sir."

"Take ten," Rufus answered and handed the man his pay.

Silmeria came running up just in time to see what Rufus had purchased. "What is it? What is it?" she demanded, bouncing up and down.

Rufus dropped to one knee and held out the doughnut. "This is pretty big. Do you think you can eat it all?"

"It's _green_!" Silmeria squealed as she took it from his fingers. She took a big bite, getting icing all over her face.

"Good?" Rufus laughed as she took another bite. At this rate she would inhale the entire thing.

"Mmm hmm!" Silmeria answered without taking a pause to speak.

"Good," Rufus said again, this time to affirm that the reward had been delivered. "Come on, I want to go to the grocer before it gets late."

"Grosher?" Silmeria asked.

He took her hand and led her out of the bakery. "Yeah, it's where a guy like Ranard sells the milk and other things he makes on his farm."

"I don't want to go there!" Silmeria retorted, tugging on his hand. "They're gonna make me drink cow juice!"

"I'm not gonna buy milk, stupid," Rufus groaned, pulling her along. A woman standing outside the doorway seemed appalled that he would call a little girl _stupid_, but Silmeria didn't think twice about it. The little schemer _knew_ she was smart, and that was the whole trouble with it. "Look, it's where you buy food. Of course I'm not going to buy milk for Raynard's family. They're the ones who _make_ the milk. They have plenty of it!"

"Oh!" Silmeria said, suddenly sweet and happy again. She swung Rufus's arm to and fro. "Can I gets broccoli?"

Rufus hid a groan behind his unoccupied hand. "A kid who begs for broccoli..."

"And potatoes!" she added. "And crouts!"

"Sauerkraut?" he answered, face contorting in disgust. "Gross..."

Silmeria frowned at his bad taste, then she looked up and smiled. "What do you like to eat?"

"Wild turkey stew with--" he said aloud, then caught himself. "Well I really don't have a favorite..."

"You just said you did!" Silmeria pouted.

"Okay," he admitted unwillingly. "I like apples."

Because...

_Once upon a time, a hero shot a wild bird and brought it back to his camp. Even though the beautiful princess had never cooked anything in her life, she tried her very hardest and ended up making the best stew he had ever tasted in his long, long life. _

..was not a bed time story.

(4)

It was mid-afternoon when Rufus exited the store with Silmeria. He carried enough groceries for a family meal underneath his arms. Silmeria insisted on helping, so he let her carry a head of lettuce. It would have to be washed anyway; so if she dropped it, it was no big deal.

They began heading back in the direction from whence they came, back towards the little house. When they were nearly out of town, a strange thing happened. Seemingly all of the town's children came running down the road all at once. Some broke off to go to their homes, but somewhere around fifteen of them passed Rufus and Silmeria.

"I guess school is out," Rufus said, answering Silmeria's glance before she had time to ask the question.

Sure enough, Ranald's children passed by. When they saw him, they stopped. Alicia hid behind her older brother, peeking from behind his legs with one bright blue eye, the other half of her face obscured. Rufus attempted not looking at her and failed.

"Hey! Rufus, right?" the older brother asked. "What's all that for? Are you eating with us again tonight?"

"Your mother must know I can't cook," he laughed. "I figured I'd buy this time if she's going to cook."

"If you're trying to get on my dad's good side, food is the best way to go about it," the boy agreed. He seemed intelligent and well-spoken for his age. "Are you an archer?"

"Yeah," Rufus replied, more accustomed to the rapid-fire questions of children than he had been two weeks ago.

Silmeria interjected here, unhappy with the conversation developing between the two. She grabbed at Rufus's legs much the same way that Alicia was grabbing at her brother's legs, and spoke sharply to the boy. "Rufus is a _great_ archer," she assured him.

"I wasn't talking to you," the boy said with a snort. Silmeria did not like that one bit. He kept his attention on Rufus, which made her even more angry. "Are you good, really?"

"I've never won any contests," Rufus said, concealing the truth. He used to like bragging about his skills, but not anymore. He never participated in contests because it would be too easy to win them, and people started to dislike strangers who made them look bad.

"Maybe you can show me?" the boy asked, turning a little timid as he addressed the man. Though always curt and sometimes rude to those younger than himself, he must have learned somewhere to respect his elders. Rufus wondered what would happen if the boy could have any idea how old he really was.

"If you mother is okay with it," Rufus replied.

Alicia's tiny voice spoke up as she emerged from behind her human shield. "This way is shorter," she said softly, keeping her face turned down towards the road and waving her hand down a grassy path that led out of town.

"Yeah, you guys are going around the long way," the boy agreed. "Oh yeah, my name is Taul! She's Alicia."

"Nice to meet you," Rufus replied. "Let's take your way, if it's faster."

"Come on," Taul laughed. "You have to jump some fences, though!"

Rufus laughed, wondering if this kid had ever seen the inside of a mine or cave and all of the things that you had to jump there. _Of course Alicia must be good at jumping_, he thought, with either a sword or school slate in hand.

(5)

Rufus followed along slowly, allowing the children to have their space. Silmeria somehow held on a conversation with her friend, though Alicia hardly spoke at all. It made him wonder. He always assumed that her personality was the way it had been because of her father's treatment. He'd only seen the king twice, and on one of those occasions he was beheaded; but those times made it clear that their relationship was complicated.

Alicia did jump the fences with the help of her brother. Rufus helped Silmeria, though she insisted against it all the way. Finally they were done crossing fenced-in farmland (which Rufus hoped but doubted belonged to Ranald) and the quaint home was in sight.

Alicia giggled and ran ahead of the others. _She's so happy_, he thought in amazement. Happier than he had ever seen her before. Sparkling with the unbridled happiness of a content child.

Ranald was working out in the field, spreading grass seeds to replace that which his cows constantly ate. Alicia ran up to him and threw her arms around his legs, greeting him with "Daddy!" Ranald laughed, wiped the sweat off of his brow, rubbed his hands clean on his pants, and then lifted Alicia up into his arms. "I learned to write my name today," she said proudly, displaying her slate. "I can write other things too."

"That's amazing!" Ranald exclaimed, truly surprised. Rufus supposed that when it was your daughter who learned to write something, it called out more enthusiasm than anyone else would feel.

"Here," Alicia said sheepishly, and held the slate out to Ranald with a new message written upon it.

Ranald took the slate, turned it upright, and held it out dramatically. It read "i love daddy" in letters written very carefully by an unpracticed hand.

"I love you too," he said, and gave her a great big bear hug.

Rufus watched this silently, feeling a strange mix of emotions that tore at each other in his heart. He was so indescribably fulfilled to see a happy Alicia, loved and nurtured by a kind and warm-hearted man who treasured her every breath and step. Even so, a dark and tortured voice deep down, one that he refused to acknowledge, had to come out to remind him that he wanted to be that man.

(6)

Shayla's eyes grew wide and she clasped her hand over her mouth. "Oh my gracious!" she said, seeing the pile of food as it was carried through the door by their guest. Then she smiled and slapped Rufus on his shoulder. "Oh sir Rufus, you must really be after my heart!"

"Uh... not at all ma'am," Rufus mumbled awkwardly, careful to wipe his feet on their doormat before stepping inside. Shayla continued to giggle like a school girl, but no longer at him, fortunately. She was giddy over all of the food he had brought.

"Look at all of this bread!" she gasped, walking around him as Rufus set the groceries on a table. "And sausages! And a roast! And oh, look at these noodles shaped like wheels!"

"I'm glad you're excited," Rufus laughed. "I thought you might take it as a lot of work being thrown onto your shoulders."

Shayla failed to answer that as she began to dig through everything and plan her recipe for dinner. From there, the evening passed much as the last had. Rufus made himself as comfortable as possible in their home while Silmeria played cheerfully with Alicia.

Silmeria was very concerned with learning to write. He promised her that if the teacher approved of the idea, she could attend school like the other children. What this meant for himself, he still was not sure.

Taul seemed to have disappeared for the duration of that time. It took a moment for it to occur to him that the boy was already an important worker on the dairy farm. So youth was not all fun and games after all. Rufus was interested to learn more about children, since he seemed unable to cut his ties with one himself. The idea of making Silmeria do chores was so terribly wonderful when he thought of the valkyrie that he knew; but when he thought of little Silmeria, he felt strangely guilty.

He offered to help Ranald work, but Shayla insisted firmly against it. With her pride in mind, Rufus decided to sit and wait as she instructed. Simple people considered idle time a precious commodity, a luxury they were damned proud of being able to lavish onto their guests.

So, he had very little choice but to watch Silmeria as she played with her friend. They went out to the back yard, chasing a small cat about. It was in a sort of transitional phase that cats seemed to have where they were no longer kittens, but had not yet taken to lying lazily around and growing fat. The two girls shook a dead branch that had fallen from a tree at it, the dry leaves rustling and making a noise that the cat could not ignore. It chased after them, sometimes with the grace of a prowling tiger and at other times bumbling clumsily. Its tail whipped about excitedly while the girls giggled and took turns tossing and shaking the branch.

He sat on the stone steps that led from the door to a path through the grass. It was mossy and shaded by canopy of leafy green trees. On the surface, he seemed to belong there, his green hair and the earthy tones of his clothes blending into the background of this tender scene. He was unobtrusive and inarguably separated by a careful designer from the focal point.

He looked down at his garments, once again wondering things that no one could answer. These clothes were a figment of his own imagination, materialized along with his body and bound to him. He had never changed in the years that passed, and had never needed to. His clothes never experienced wear from his constant travels, never collected an unacceptable amount of filth, and never smelled of sweat and blood though he was constantly painted with those things. Despite their mystical ability to deflect dirt and damage, they appeared faded and dull. The bright red of his bandana and the sash around his waist had faded to a rusty brown. The once bright green his tunic was muted and grey. All of his metal adornments and shiny trim lacked their original luster and barely stood out any longer, and even the beads on his tassels had grown smoky and dim.

This left him looking not as rich as he once did, but still he thought that if he really was going to make a habit of passing through Coriander, that he should get a few changes of clothes to avoid suspicion.

Dinner came and passed much as it had before with another prayer. Rufus felt more comfortable this evening, but still worried that he would wear out his welcome too soon. Shayla handed out the candy pieces he had procured from the market to the children after dinner, even to the little one who drooled on it for some time before chewing and swallowing.

(7)

Ranald sat down in his chair and lit his pipe, filling the den with a sweet, smoky scent. This seemed to be his daily routine. Rufus took the odd chair in the room that seemed placed specifically for guests as he had been doing so far. Silmeria, who had already changed back into her clean dress and gotten it dirty all over again, went back to playing with Alicia. Both girls yawned every few minutes, giving away their exhaustion though both would like to deny it to anyone who told them to go to bed.

Rufus stood, announcing that it was time for his departure. "Thanks again," he said.

"Oh, thank _you_ for the gracious gifts," Ranald answered, without rising from his own chair. "You really didn't have to buy that much, though. You're going to spoil Shayla. What am I supposed to do about that? I'm a simple man, you know."

"Sorry," Rufus laughed. "I guess we should head back."

"Before you go, have you thought at all on that proposition?" Ranald asked, cutting quickly to the matter at hand now.

"Don't make up his mind for him," Shayla nagged gently as she came out of the kitchen, finally done with her long task of cooking, feeding, and cleaning. She stood just over his shoulder, as if watching for something else to fret about.

"Yes, I did think about it," Rufus answered, putting Shayla's concerned to rest with an easy tone. "But... I mean to head to Villnore first," he went on. "Actually... if I could possibly ask you to do me another favor..."

"Don't hesitate to ask," Shayla offered. "What can we do for you?"

Rufus nodded his head at Silmeria, who was thankfully distracted, and then raised his eyes to Shayla. "Take her measurements if you could, for clothing and shoes."

"Can I have new shoes?" Silmeria gasped, suddenly very excited and beaming with joy. Rufus had been hoping she wouldn't notice the conversation and that he could inform her later, but that was all out the window now.

Rufus scratched his head. "We'll see, all right?" he answered. "Promise me you'll be good while I'm gone, and I'll think about it."

"While you're _gone_?" came another gasp from Silmeria. She abandoned whatever game she had been playing with her friend and slapped her hands angrily on Rufus's knee as he stood. "Why do you have to go there?"

Rufus knelt on one knee in front of her. Silmeria backed away from him angered, but clasped her tiny fists around the tail of his cloak tightly so that he wouldn't get away. "Call it a trial," he said. Silmeria failed to understand this and pursed her lips. He placed his hand on the top of her head to try and alleviate her worries. "I'll be back in a matter of days, I promise. I am not going to just leave you here."

Shayla decided to step in here and help Rufus. For that he was grateful. "Silmeria," she cooed softly. "Would you like to spend the night with Alicia? You can share her bed and have plenty of fun."

Silmeria looked back at her friend, who was watching all of this from a few steps away, fearing intervention. "Aw... yeah I wanna stay, but Rufus should stay too!!"

"Hey," he said. "You stay here with Alicia for three nights, okay? Then I'll be back, I promise."

The little girl looked up, eyes glossy and her lip puffed out as if she might cry. "I want you to _stay!_" she wailed. Rufus was not familiar with how children became even more irrational when they were tired. It was a lesson learned. The only thing that saved him from going through another of her tantrums was her friend, who very quietly took Silmeria's hand.

"He will come back," she said. It was not a reassurance. She spoke as if this was a certainty, a fact of life.

The touch of the girl's hand calmed Silmeria and banished her tears. It was a true miracle, but not one that Rufus would ever question.

(8)

Silmeria was asleep when he left. She wasn't an early riser, that much he had learned. At the crack of dawn, he took a seat on the back of a wagon bound for the mining town of Villnore. Somehow, setting out on his own was hard despite his life-long practice of doing so.

He had to travel the human way. He had to wear real clothing and make real money in his attempts to present himself as a real person, and not as an immortal spirit chained to the most powerful of the four treasures. It was all going to be hard work, hard on his back and hard on his soul.

As Coriander faded into the distance behind the cart, he contemplated what he was doing yet again. It was a constant thought. _What am I doing here? _He should leave Coriander in the distance, and leave them out of his fate. If his motivations were merely his own guilt and loneliness, then it would be a violation of his vow to give Alicia the normal life she deserved to stay here.


End file.
